i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
