i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
