Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize