I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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