Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
