But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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