If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
