Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
