Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
