She is in my trunk
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Even my vagina gasped.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
