The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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