So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
