Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize