Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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