What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she peed on how many people?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
