he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
