Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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