Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
