I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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