so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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