woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
