YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
