i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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