you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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