....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
