ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
