that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize