How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
