I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you would pick up someone in the library
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
