i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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