dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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