What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
