the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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