I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
