Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
