Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't put those talents on a resume
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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