respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
there is glitter all over my balls
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