I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize