how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
