Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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