so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
