we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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