sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
