was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
