If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
