Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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