I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
