I need help removing her.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
