Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize