oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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