i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
