have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
