I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im holly from the hills drunk
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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