You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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