I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize