Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
