My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The Olympian is in my bed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
