somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
