last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
