Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
