I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
